My ever-so romanticized second semester of senior year was put on hold by a global pandemic. None of us expected this situation to take away our last high school spring break, our last prom, and ultimately, in-person graduation. And eventually for many of us, even our first year of university. As days turned into weeks into a month of lockdown, we monotonously repeated our final goodbyes to our childhood friends and teachers through a two-dimensional screen.
Applying to the Study Away program at Yonsei University was probably the best decision that I made at the peak of Singapore’s lockdown. The semester-long program in Seoul, Korea gave me a reason to finally set foot in the airport again and even remotely experience a tangible manifestation of a university experience. Looking forward to in-person classes, I packed my two suitcases, I moved into the dorms, I met new people. But outside my hopeful illusion, the pandemic raged on, and my classes remained confined to the four corners of my laptop.
Winter came and left. And like that, my first semester in Korea was over. I found myself on the flight back to Singapore wondering how I had changed. I still felt like the same person. I still felt like a high school senior. The fleeting taste of freedom was soon replaced by bitter reality. Back in the alcove of my childhood home, I was suffocated by the equatorial heat. All days were the same, starting with sunset and ending with sunrise. I spent my second semester throwing away hours as if they were paper airplanes. And with each additional photo or video that I saw of Cornell, I hated myself more for not fighting harder to study on campus.
And now, another semester later, I’m finally here. Initially, it was definitely intimidating to step into an environment where everyone already seemed to know each other so well. Although I was finally with the people I wanted to be with, meeting the people I wanted to meet, I felt a different kind of isolation. I have a lot to catch up on and so much more to learn. But it’s something I’m willing to work through, and I’m grateful that I was privileged and lucky enough to have grown stronger from my unique experiences. For everyone who’s starting their first semester on campus, I’m so glad that we’re finally here. I can’t even begin to imagine all the different ways our times have collided to lead us all to the same place, but I’m sure that it will be worth it. Time seemed to have stopped in my asynchronous and isolated freshmen year, and writing about the continuous thoughts that I had in the back of my mind was truly a cathartic experience.