By: Charlize Trostinsky
Rejection can suck. Whether it be a declined job application, a college rejection, a crush not liking you back, or a personal setback, each has its own way of stinging and shaking one’s confidence. However, redefining your outlook on rejection can be a catalyst for self-improvement, growth, and new opportunities.
Understand: It’s Not About You
Companies and universities often have to choose between thousands of applicants for very few spots. Let’s say there are 50 spots available for an internship program for junior year summer students. While 50 spots seems promising, 20 of those spots can be taken by people with prior connections to the company, like a past internship or a family member who holds a prominent position. Budget cuts can often tank the internship program and cause the company to only take interns they can afford. This can reduce the program by another 10 spots, leaving only 20 spots available. In addition, graduate students are also potential candidates and may be better suited for the position due to qualifications in comparison to undergraduates. If there are limited financial resources, the company might be more inclined to take more graduate students who will work on an hourly wage and can aid salaried employees with their advanced expertise. In this case, as an undergraduate student, you may now have a lesser chance at getting the internship, as they may only have 10 designated spots for undergraduate students. Furthermore, they may want an equal number of male and female interns, leaving 5 spots. All of these conditions may leave you, as a female undergraduate student, with a 10% chance of getting the internship, before your resume and application are even reviewed.
Beyond all of these limitations, you may not be considered relatable to the person reading your application, leaving you, a completely qualified and exceptional applicant with a rejection letter. On the bright side, if your application falls into the hands of an alumni from your alma mater, grew up in your hometown, or played the same sport as you, that personal connection may make them more inclined to hire you. This system is often uniform across both hiring, acceptance to universities, spots at labs, and more. Overall, the outcome is out of your hands and is not a reflection of your character or qualifications. Financial limitations and outside factors are often to blame for many rejections, so don’t take it personally!
Allow Yourself to be Upset
It is understandable to feel upset and defeated after a rejection; however, suppressing your emotions will only take the process longer on your journey to healing. Give yourself time to adjust and acknowledge your feelings as valid. Everyone has a different timeline when it comes to dealing with rejection. It may take a day, a week, or even a month to process some situations based on their severity, so don’t compare yourself to others.
Reframe Your Perspective
I am sure you have heard this quote many times before, but “rejection” really is “redirection.” It helps to tell yourself that maybe the reason the opportunity did not work out was because it was not meant for you and there was something better out there waiting for you that you wouldn’t have known about without this rejection. As a sophomore transfer to Cornell, I was devastated by the original decision and having to attend another University. It turned out that spending my freshman year at another school was the greatest decision I ever made. I had a great group of friends who I have stayed close with to this day and got to experience the college experience in a different place before attending Cornell. In addition, I found a transfer community at Cornell with shared experiences that were incredibly supportive and became my best friends that I may not have met if I entered Cornell as a freshman.
Keep Going/Applying/Trying
Consistency is key when it comes to applying for internships, jobs, clubs, etc. Many of my friends and classmates spoke about the difficulty of rejection and uncertainty while applying to junior year summer internships. I applied to 60 internships before getting an interview and an offer. Some people don’t receive offers until after spring semester finals week, or even later during the summer. It is important to not lose sight of the big picture. There are so many rolling opportunities for the summer that would be lucky to have you. Just because one company does not recognize your potential does not mean that no one will. It takes time and practice and experiences. Every rejection opens up a new opportunity to apply for something new that may fit you better!
Maintain a Growth Mindset
Don’t let rejection paralyze you! Oprah Winfrey was told she couldn’t succeed in television. Henry Ford went bankrupt before starting the Ford Motor Company. J.K. Rowling was rejected 12 times before publishing the first Harry Potter book. Many of the world’s most successful people’s careers began with rejection. You can make it too! Don’t close yourself off from constructive criticism and learn a lesson from each experience. If you can, ask the employer what they think you can improve on and reach out periodically to ask about upcoming opportunities. Consistency is key and getting your name out there while networking can be extremely rewarding.
Turn your setbacks into success by understanding that a rejection just means that there is something out there that you are better suited for and that will better suit you. However, maybe a rejection can indicate that there is room for improvement in your interview skills, resumé, or cover letter. Come to the Career Exploration Center to find resources on how to hone your abilities, schedule practice interviews with trained career assistants, and get your resume and cover letter critiqued. It may seem cliché, but like everyone always says, REJECTION IS REDIRECTION! Best of luck 🙂