Expanding your network can be tedious and anxiety inducing but the connections you make, even beyond a professional context, can be the key to your success. A lot of the anxiety associated with meeting new people stems from worrying about what other people think — but you don’t have to be an extroverted person in order to make meaningful connections with strangers! Here are some tips and tricks on how to improve your people skills and meet new people for the first time.
1. Focus on the other person
People are wonderful, and focusing on actually getting to a know a person is a rewarding experience in itself. When you meet someone for the first time, the easiest thing you can do is to ask about their interests. This can help you establish some common ground and give you direction to drive the conversation further.
2. Ask open ended questions
The key to good conversation is asking good questions. Closed questions can be answered with a word or two and do not reveal that much information about a person. As a result, it’s unlikely to sustain a conversation through closed questions. Closed questions are mainly used to obtain facts, and asking a string of closed questions can seem more like an interrogation than a conversation.
Contrastingly, open questions usually need to be answered with a verbal “essay” and require further elaboration. Typically, the answers will not be facts but rather personal feelings, opinions, or ideas. Answers are likely to be more reflective and will be more thoughtful. Moreover, asking open ended questions shifts burden of the conversation from the question asker to the question answerer.
Example:
Closed Ended Questions:
How long have you been working in this industry?
What is your role in this organization?
Open Ended Questions:
Can I hear more about your career path? How did you get to where you are today?What advice can you give in regards to pursuing a career in ____?
3. Listen Well
Give the other person the courtesy of your full attention— make comments and ask clarifying questions throughout the conversation. Listening deeply to other people shows that you are interested in hearing more about another person’s experiences. When you show more interest in a conversation, the other party will likely reciprocate and take a deeper interest in you.
4. Tune out that inner voice
Most people tend to assume that others are more comfortable in social situations than they themselves are. So don’t be too hard on yourself! Assume that everyone else is more nervous or feels more awkward than you and tune out that self conscious voice in your mind.
5. Practice Practice Practice!
Jump on any opportunity for some low-stakes practice to improve your interpersonal skills. Join groups and clubs or find volunteer/job opportunities in service industries that will force you to speak with strangers. Exercising these skills in an environment where there is no downside of doing it poorly will help you gain confidence for the real deal.
Being able to connect with people is a valuable skill to have. Remember, “networking” tips are not limited to formal networking sessions. Be willing to put yourself out there in your every day life, you’ll be surprised by who you meet!